Funny Love Quotes

Love is blind but after experiencing it for a long time you should become familiar with some particular spots. - by Lja B
The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed. - by Shalene
Marriage is similar to your husband sprinkling itching powder in your favorite sneakers. The relationship must always be moving in order to ease the discomfort. - by Debbie
Women are like telephones; They like to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong buttons you might get disconnected! - by Qstar
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! - by Rachel
Dating is like a test drive, you keep trying until you find the right one. - by Rudy Lacosse
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - by Woody Allen
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - by Oscar Wilde
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality. - by Hellfire Hotchkiss

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - Melanie Griffith

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite, undying - Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying. - Dorothy Parker

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. - Fran Lebowitz
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. - Helen Rowland
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. - Jonathan Carroll
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all. - Thomas Hardy
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney
What female heart can despise gold? - Thomas Gray
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. - Dorothy Parker
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania. - Dorothy Parker
My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there. - Carrie Fisher
We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh. - Alice Reppler
To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love Quotes